Prime Minister Blizzard

Prime Minister Blizzard
The comic book history of Minister Blizzard, an enemy of Wonder Woman, from DC Comics.

Now, I don't know if this is going to show up in the DC movies, but canonically, according to the comics, Diana Prince, AKA Wonder Woman loves global warming. She's super into pumping carbon dioxide into the atmosphere to heat up the planet. I guess she really wants to heat up those oceans and stick it to Aquaman.

The Climate-Changer

Wonder Woman heard from her friends, a group of girls who were asked to wear bathing suits to their professor's talk under big fur coats. This, for some reason, didn't set off alarm bells. Their professor, the dean, was also in his bathing suit which wasn't better. He was debuting a machine that pumped carbon dioxide into the air to warm up the earth. Unlike actual global warming, the professor's machine worked immediately, pumping CO2 into the room and somehow not suffocating everyone. This warmed it up so, in a move that would absolutely get him called before the president of the university, he encouraged people to disrobe down to their bathing suits. When he reversed the machine, to suck the CO2 from the room, it cooled things back down, according to how science works.

🎶 It's getting hot in here 🎶 Image copyright DC Comics.

The dean's big plan was that he was going to fast-track about a hundred and fifty years of global warming to go up and melt the polar ice caps, turning the region into a paradise of strip malls and capitalism. This, of course was a terrible idea. Not because of massive global climate change and flooding, but because of Iceberg Land.

Snow No

As we all know, the reason climate change is a problem is that there's a kingdom at the North Pole called Iceberg Land. It's a constitutional monarchy ruled by Princess Snowina and administered by Prime Minister Blizzard. I guess kind of a massive coincidence that they were named after ice and snow, being in a land of snow. Kind of similar to how there are so many people down here named Prime Minister Dirt and Princess Grass.

Anyway, Professor Chemico, the dean, left the next day to warm up the earth and utterly destroy life as we know it, but the spies of Iceberg Land managed to learn about the machine and Prime Minister Blizzard dragged his candy-land sounding self down to steal the machine and use it to freeze the ocean around the ship, marooning the professor.

But Prime Minister Blizzard wasn't supposed to steal the machine. He was supposed to be a one-man climate accord, tasked with talking to the Americans about maybe not melting the polar ice caps.

Nothing EXTREMELY sus about this. Image copyright DC Comics.

He had other plans: namely, to form a giant glacier and sail it to New York City to take over the world. Yes. Glaciers, those famously fast and mobile things.

He was doing something right, because after Wonder Woman unstuck the ship they somehow got hit by a glacier. Now sure how that happens when you can move at all.

A Gla-CIER Thing

It made it to New York...eventually. When she saw the glacier toppling buildings, Wonder Woman managed to break through the ropes Prime Minister Blizzard had her tied in which...would have been nice to do that without thousands of casualties but hey, we'll take what we can get.

I feel like comics sometimes didn't have a frame of reference for destruction. 9/11 defined a generation and this is at LEAST on the scale of that level of devastation. Image copyright DC Comics.

She captured Prime Minister Blizzard and took him back to Iceberg Land, rescued the queen, and everyone was able to talk it out.

Minister Blizzard, because I guess he didn't harm anyone in Iceberg Land, was given his position back. Seems like an oversight and a great way to spark an international incident. To try to impress Princess Snowina so she didn't marry the visiting Prince Polar - because of course his name was Prince Polar - Minister Blizzard froze Manhattan. It thawed, though, I guess, when Wonder Woman defeated Minister Blizzard.

I mean, can you even begin to imagine how this would change America? Image copyright DC Comics.

He surfaced again to fight the Justice League in a team up with Flash enemy Captain Cold and the Icicle and the three were going to usher in a new ice age in South America because there are a lot of pages to fill in comic book stories. Sadly, they were defeated before they could come up with a fun, dorky nickname for their team up.

Cold (Re)Boot

Minister Blizzard was utterly out of his league here. Image copyright DC Comics.

Further spitting in the face of the Big Gang we discussed a couple of weeks ago, DC rebooted Minister Blizzard at least three times. The first time he was changed into a violent environmentalist because "thirsty for Princess Snowina" probably required a lot of backstory explanation regarding who princess Snowina was and there's a land of snow called Iceberg Land that's a monarchy that actually exists. He tried to use his little pew pew ice ray on Superman and Superman straight up melted it. He surfaced again as a cult leader - there's not much on this one - and a third time was back to basics, wanting to bring back the ice age while riding a giant ice bull. Prime Minister Blizzard was punched unconscious by Batman pretty much immediately, but hey, the kids of Gotham got a snow day.

You're Father-Christmasing it up on top of an ice bull. Everyone mocks your life's work. Image copyright DC Comics.

Wonder Woman comics have a lot of strange, off-the-wall things, even for Golden Age comics. To the point that in independent frozen nation living in the North Pole who has devastated NYC on two separate occasions doesn't even raise eyebrows. The big takeaway here, though? Wonder Woman looooves global warming and will fight tooth and nail...or lasso and make sure that it happens.

Holy Comic Book Sources, Batman!

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